Wednesday, October 01, 2008

Bud Selig

Oh, Bud--you douche bag of a commissioner. What happened to baseball being about the game? Wait, I know! Like your whole generation, you sold dignity down the river for cold, hard cash. Ding, ding, ding! And what do you get for sacrificing purity for money? A brand, spanking new contract through 2012, of course!

Yeah, sure you put your head in the sand when McGwire hit 70 steroid-induced home runs. Yeah, sure you force-fed an annual interleague Yankees-Mets series that 95% of the fan base couldn't care less about but now have to endure. Yeah, sure you created the Diamondbacks and Devil Rays*, two of the most unnecessary organizations in U.S. history, but as long as the owners are lining their pockets with luxury box money while across-the-board prices go up, hot dogs get steamed less and pitching goes down the tubes, then who cares?

And what's an even better way to increase revenue under the guise of competition? More games of course! Thanks for the wildcard playoff series, Bud. Absolutely fucking retarded. Remember in the old days when they played 154 games, two teams won the pennant (see "When Winning the Pennant Meant Something," by Your Grandfather), a World Series was played and all was said and done? No, of course you don't. Because that was before the Baby Boomers took over. So now it's 162 regular season games, two separate playoff series and THEN a World Series. It's December already. Bud, your cologne reeks like socialism.

The best part of your plan Bud is that even when it doesn't work, the money's still flowing. The worst part of your plan Bud is that when it doesn't work, you just throw up your hands and look like an idiot (see picture--Bud at tied 2002 All Star game). Who cares? No one, but the actual fan.

*Now "The Rays", because what better way to fix something that's broke but to do nothing but change the name and purify it by taking out "Devil". Bring back the Washington Bullets!

3 comments:

klewfoto said...

Love the blog!

Remember, it's not whether you win or lose, its how many mercedes benz and SUVs you've consumed before you die.

Unknown said...

How the hell Selig keeps his job is beyond me. Maybe the baby boomers (each and every one of the billion on this planet) are secretly collecting checks from "Major League Bullshit" for $2000 per year...the "don't fire selig fund". If this fund exists (it does) then Daddy, can you please include that in my trust fund....and extend selig for another 10 years before I go public...thank you very much.

Fuckin A, my first blog ever. Unleash Jah Bogey!!!!

Anonymous said...

fuck that guy, i say keep steroids in the game by the way, i miss McGuire hitting dingers