Feminism

There's the modern adage that goes something like what your Baby Boomers' dad once told you: "Sure they want to do everything a man does, but then they want you to open the door for them, too."

I can only imagine what it was like working in the 80s, when feminism was at its peak. Shoulder pads and walk-to-work sneakers notwithstanding, it must've been a tricky time. Your boss wears a skirt but the guy from Mr. Mom is the one who gets laid all the time? Gimme another line.

Baby Boomers are still entirely befuddled by gender roles. And that's the reason that women still haven't broken the glass ceiling (Who hated Sarah Palin the most? Baby Boomer women). The Baby Boomer men touted feminism to get laid, but then institutionally held them down in the office.

There's Baby Boomer hypocrisy by the women in that they wanted to be treated equally, but don't want to pay for dinner. Then there's hypocrisy by the men in that they tell their wives to "show'em what you're made of at the meeting, honey," before going to the office the next morning and having a sit-down with Mr. Senior Partner: "So for that promotion...we've got Joe and we've got Stephanie...let's get Joe in here and tell him the good news."

And what's even worse is that Stephanie's been fucking Mr. Senior Partner for two months! It's no wonder that male Baby Boomers still hire based on sex appeal and females use that sex appeal for leverage and competition among female co-workers.

I'm just glad that our generation has seemingly accepted gender equality in the workplace and at the same time feel free to make spontaneously non-awkward blow job jokes. Now that's equality.

Oh, and bra burning? That symbolic act by feminists to display their gender's defiance and fortitude? Totally made up -- never happened. Shocking.